The stress of trying to get pregnant and failing month after month is devastating. However, something as simple as training your mind to believe you are expecting a baby, you are a mother to be and seeing yourself as super fertile can help boost your fertility. I could write an entire book on my experiences with clients who changed their thoughts and beliefs and created wonderful changes within themselves. For instance, Mrs Drew was a delightful American woman who came to see me while she was in England for a few weeks. She had been trying to get pregnant for thirteen years and had done almost everything, including many attempts at IVF. Eventually she gave up and was able to arrange privately to adopt a baby from a young single mother who was pregnant.
Mrs Drew was in London with her husband a month before the baby was due and she came to see me for hypnosis to deal with some personal issues before taking charge of her new baby. Obviously she was very excited and would arrive at my office with all kinds of baby clothes and toys, which she had bought on the way, and she would show me her purchases while we talked about her impending motherhood. Her joy and delight were contagious. However, while in London she received a phone call telling her that the baby had been born a month early. The mother could not bear to part with her, so the adoption would not be going ahead. Mrs Drew was devastated, and she stayed on in England for a few extra weeks, unable to face returning to her home where the baby’s room was decorated and filled with toys waiting for her arrival. I did a lot of work with her until she felt able to return to America, determined to keep going and eventually adopt another baby.
Five weeks after her return, she called me to say that she was pregnant. In fact, she had been pregnant whilst in England, but had no idea. It seemed like the most wonderful miracle. While she was focusing on becoming a mother, she had achieved what she never had when trying to get pregnant, and at last had her baby. While she was buying things for her baby and talking about the baby she was expecting, her body made a baby in response to her expectations.
Many women who want children focus on why they can’t get pregnant. They say things like, ‘Why can’t I have a baby? What’s wrong with me? Why is my body letting me down? It’s so unfair!’ They hope, wish, and pray for motherhood.
Mrs Drew, unaware of what she was doing, actually focused on being a mother. She talked about her baby, shopped for her baby, decorated the baby’s room, and completely accepted herself as a mother. She saw herself as a mother rather than wishing, hoping, and longing to become one. She showed anyone who expressed an interest all the things she was buying for her baby.
You want to have a baby, so instead of wishing, trying, hoping, longing for, or dreaming of it, see it as if you already have it. Believe it is happening for you now, as the mind only works in the present tense. Know that it will happen instead of hoping it will happen. When you wish for something, you send a message to the brain that says, ‘I want this, but I don’t believe I can ever have it.’ When you say, ‘I will try,’ your brain immediately accepts the word ‘try’ as so insignificant that it does not matter if you get the results or not. When you say I will instead of I’ll try, you get a very different and positive response.
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