1. You should have a notebook-what I like to call a baby book-where you can write down all your reasons for getting pregnant, detailing why you are having a baby and will be a wonderful mother. Write down why you know that no baby in the world will be more loved and wanted than your baby. One of the best things you can give your baby is for it to know you planned to get pregnant and your baby was wanted.

2. It is so important to visualise yourself as a mother and to accept yourself as a parent. When parents are very close to adoption, they begin buying baby things as opposed to avoiding the baby aisles and baby shops. It cannot be a coincidence that so many women get pregnant naturally after adoption, or after an IVF baby. It occurs because finally they accept, and see themselves, as a mother.

3. One of the best getting pregnant tips I can give you is to go down the baby aisles in the supermarket and into the baby shops, and plan all the things you will buy. Touch, smell, and feel the items. Look through baby catalogues, and plan your baby’s room, wardrobe, and nursery. Buy some socks or a little hat as faith that your baby is on its way to you. Infertile couples are asked to use birth control for up to three years after adoption due to the high statistics of adoptive parents getting pregnant.

4. Talk to your baby every single day. Welcome your baby into your womb, into your home, into your life, and into your heart. Send love to your baby; let it know how much you want it. Describe to the baby all the things you will do together and as a family. Show your baby that it’s wanted even before you get pregnant.

5. When you have sex, imagine your body acting out how to get pregnant. Imagine a perfect egg drawing a perfect sperm towards it, perfect fertilisation taking place, and your fertilised egg becoming a foetus, implanting securely in your womb, and growing on target for nine months.

6. See your baby. You don’t need a crystal clear image. You can see your baby in profile, or as a new-born or a foetus, or as a toddler. Talk to it every day.

7. Shower your baby with love and positive thoughts. Maintain a really healthy diet and the right vitamins to boost conception, and imagine you are already a wonderful mother doing everything for your baby to help get pregnant.

8. Your egg is intelligent. It contains a life force all its own, and it knows exactly what to do at every stage of conception. If you show it how to get pregnant, instruct it, command it, and rehearse with it what is to happen, your egg will do it. Women with only one ovary have eggs that are so smart, they swim to and then travel down the alternate fallopian tube every other month.

9. See your baby’s presence everywhere…the cot in the baby room, the baby bath and all the baby products in the bathroom, the highchair and the buggy in the hall. Take the baby on a tour of your house. Show it how wanted and loved it is.

10. Stop worrying about not getting pregnant and start thinking about how you are a wonderful, loving mother. Think about how you are great parents, and how you bond with your baby immediately. You instinctively know what to do. See images of you and your baby bathing together or snuggled up in bed together.

Trying to get pregnant with IVF?

Throughout IVF, visualise each procedure and every medication taking you closer to your baby. Welcome and celebrate each step to getting pregnant. End every visualisation with the same image of you holding your baby in your arms in your hospital bed. Before and during any medical procedure, such as egg collection or embryo transfer, remind yourself that in nine months you will be in another bed in a similar room delivering your baby. Talk to your baby, and tell them this.

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